A short piece about the red, white, and blue. And it rhymes too!


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dingofromdownunda, on 2/28/2008 6:00:10 AM
Total Posts: 12, Joined: 12/21/2005
i hope you have aids because than perhaps maybe you will die xbox!
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bulshoy, on 2/28/2008 7:22:58 AM
Total Posts: 5512, Joined: 11/15/2005
Interesting, for sure.

Reminds me of rap. Get yourself a beat and rap this over it.
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clamchowda503, on 2/28/2008 8:24:58 AM
Total Posts: 76, Joined: 5/24/2006
I tried it out and it sounds pretty fucking good to a beat...
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clamchowda503, on 2/28/2008 8:38:13 AM
Total Posts: 77, Joined: 5/24/2006
Since I can't figure out how to submit an editorial I guess I can do it here, this is my version of that I recorded a few months ago:
Born in 86 now it's 2008 and I'm tryin to get some shit done before I hit my grave; somethings gotta change look how bad things are getting...This life here I'm livin's fully filled with traps and I gotta watch my step cause I can't take it back and there ain't no hope when you're living in the past life's way too fast it'll pass you right by: live it for today cause anytime you could die with no time for goodbyes: time to break the cycle time to clear up your mind like visine for your eyes: it gets the red out, kinda like the pen in my hand lets the thoughts in my head out...I really think everybody's finally startin to get it now we gotta get our children out we gotta end the war, we've been there 5 years but what the fuck for when we can't solve the problems on our own front porch but he's over there causin the next world war! Was it all caused by the destruction of the twin towers or was it corruption by a global superpower implementin new powers only set in place to remove ours...There takin all our freedoms way more than a portion, killin freedom of speech and the choice for abortion, headin right in to a conflict of cataclysmic proportions, and we need to stop it now before he gets us into more shit so you better pray to whatever god it is that you worship...
Christ, The Virgin Mary, Allah, Buddha!
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bulshoy, on 2/28/2008 8:39:52 AM
Total Posts: 5516, Joined: 11/15/2005
@ clamchowda

http://www.shoutwire.com/esubmit
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clamchowda503, on 2/28/2008 8:57:48 AM
Total Posts: 78, Joined: 5/24/2006
thanks bulshoy, but I guess it's kinda pointless for me to submit that as an editorial now that I posted my rap in here...but it's good to know, cause I got lots of stuff I could submit :-Þ
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moocowrat, on 2/28/2008 10:57:43 AM
Total Posts: 55, Joined: 7/15/2006
if anybody, clamchowda esp, wants to put this shit to a beat feel free. just give me lyrical credits and i'm good. would love to see it happen.
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clamchowda503, on 2/28/2008 8:09:17 PM
Total Posts: 79, Joined: 5/24/2006
I'll see if I can't whip out a copy of it this weekend and I will find a way to post it, if I'm allowed...
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FrancisDrake, on 2/28/2008 9:27:23 PM
Total Posts: 10, Joined: 8/19/2007
it's good, but not amazing

you label all these problems that American has, but offer no solution... think of it this way, it's like whining about a problem and asking somebody else to solve it.

and lastly, i read this, but felt nothing. if you want this poem to mean anything it has to have more shock value. There were a few eye openers, but my characteristic american apathy swallowed it all up. so sharpen your blade and try again. or don't, if this is just a hobby.

"The sword that has no purpose may as well be blunt and rusted"
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FrancisDrake, on 2/28/2008 9:31:43 PM
Total Posts: 11, Joined: 8/19/2007
but thanks for breaking shoutwire monotony. I was getting a little tired of editorials and sciolisms =)
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