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A Few Inspiring Tales....Almost   

   Posted by MAnCHild  Promoted 130 days 23 hours ago  4955 views  blog  

    Entertainment / Humor  |   Comments 15 comments  | 

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A few thought provoking tales but with an addendum...


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The "Don'ts" of Blogging (And A Few "Do's")



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raspliffarian, on 11/8/2009 8:19:07 AM
Total Posts: 310, Joined: 8/23/2006
those were some awesome punchlines dude...

your cyncism has been put to good use


Let me try...


Today, after eating lunch, I walked out of a restaurant carrying a box of leftovers. A homeless man came up to me and asked if he could have some of the food. I ignored him and kept walking. Two minutes later, I tripped over a curb and spilled the leftovers all over the sidewalk.

So I scraped it off the ground and gave it to the homeless guy cause I'm not gonna eat that shit.



Today, I put 2 hours worth of coins into a Chicago street parking meter on my way into a business meeting. The meeting lasted nearly 4 hours. I expected to see a $120 parking ticket on my car when I returned, but instead the meter read '27 minutes remaining.' Someone paid my meter for me.

Probably the same person who took a giant dump on my front hood.



Today, a girl who I see everyday at work, who's always the most chipper person in the office, committed suicide.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her that due to her barren womb her life would always be as empty as her uterus.



wow that feels really good
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MAnCHild, on 11/8/2009 9:06:28 AM
Total Posts: 308, Joined: 9/10/2009
^^

''Probably the same person who took a giant dump on my front hood.''

Lol!
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Texas420, on 11/8/2009 11:26:49 AM
Total Posts: 233, Joined: 7/3/2007
lol this is good shit.
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su0rtin, on 11/8/2009 1:56:18 PM
Total Posts: 22, Joined: 10/31/2006
Today, I went ice skating. Everyone skating was young, except one guy in his mid-50's. He kept falling down and smiling. And all the kids kept laughing along with him. I asked him why he decided to skate today. He said, "I was at work earlier and realized I had never been ice skating. So here I am."

I turned to him and said. Sort your fucking life and wipe your chin you dribbling cunt. Your pushing 60 and ice-skating with a bunch of kids. Grow the fuck up.
----------------------------------------

Today, my 75 year old grandma and I took the tram into Dublin's city centre. When we got on the tram there were no seats for my grandma to sit in. She was offered a seat by a well dressed African man. She happily obliged. When the man stood up, I realized he had a prosthetic leg.

Needless to say me and my Nan had the last laugh. Sucker.

----------------------------------------

Today, my cousin died. He has been a Marine for 6 years. He fought for our country overseas on 3 separate tours in Iraq. He came home on leave 2 weeks ago and was killed by a drunk driver.

The last thing he said to me was, "Are you sure your alright to drive?"




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synthesis, on 11/8/2009 7:37:07 PM
Total Posts: 99, Joined: 5/23/2009
Manchild, absolutely brilliant. Cynicism works like a swiss watch.

Today, I waited on an elderly woman at the local restaurant where I work. She left me a $90 tip on a $10 tab with a handwritten note that said, "I'm 86 and I can't take this money with me. So please spoil yourself with it."

So i crapped my pants, and used the greenbacks to wipe.
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MAnCHild, on 11/8/2009 10:46:52 PM
Total Posts: 309, Joined: 9/10/2009
@su0rtin

''The last thing he said to me was, "Are you sure your alright to drive?"''

Damn. That's a good one

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MAnCHild, on 11/8/2009 10:55:50 PM
Total Posts: 310, Joined: 9/10/2009
Today, after eating lunch, I walked out of a restaurant carrying a box of leftovers. A homeless man came up to me and asked if he could have some of the food. I ignored him and kept walking. Two minutes later, I tripped over a curb and spilled the leftovers all over the sidewalk.

I stood up, unzipped my fly and peed on the sidewalk as the homeless man looked on.

No means no, motherfucker. I don't do handouts.
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NormanSmiley, on 11/9/2009 10:16:28 AM
Total Posts: 221, Joined: 3/23/2009
we could have done without the N bomb. this offends my sense of decency.
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vendettaFRANZ, on 11/9/2009 2:59:41 PM
Total Posts: 284, Joined: 1/31/2007
So this bum tells me he hadn't had a bite in three days.

So I bit him.
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athonwy, on 11/9/2009 4:42:23 PM
Total Posts: 39, Joined: 4/3/2006
Don't quit your day job bro. Pretty lame.
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