Wherein I discuss Twilight's newest tactic to destroy literature.
I was very recently in a book store when I ran across something that chilled my blood. In the teen fiction section there was a reprinted edition of
Wuthering Heights. This in and of itself isn’t necessarily blood chilling, though it is of a higher caliber than most things normally in that section. What was astonishing to me was that the cover branded it to be “Bella and Edward’s favorite book”.
Aghast, I stood numbly in front of this outrage and stared horrified.
Before I launch into my tirade, and so that you may share in my pain, I give you now the cover that stood before me:
Yes, dear friends, as I also found out, not only does this abuse of
Wuthering Heights exist, but there are two separate covers for it (US and British English versions). And as if this wasn’t bad enough, two other books are getting the Twilight treatment. It seems as if the Twilight franchise is attempting to begin a mass take over, starting with the English speaking world. Having already dominated the teen fiction and teen film areas of the world,
Twilight seems to be slyly infiltrating the classic literature sector as well. The advertisers, however, have only a feeble excuse for this penetration into other levels of fiction. I also discovered that this entire cover idea was apparently spawned by one section in
Eclipse where Bella and Edward, amazingly, discuss and quote
Wuthering Heights and one or two references to the other two works. I do take solace in the fact that only one book is singled out as a favorite of the pair and explicitly linked to the Twilight cult.
Throughout my time as a Literature major I learned and have learned that there are many powerful and well educated characters throughout the canon. These characters can be admired and learned from, perhaps even loved, however, I find that Isabella Cullen née Swan is nowhere among them. First, I find it ludicrous to insinuate that Bella, were she a real person, has actually read and loved
Wuthering Heights (her presumed favorite) let alone
Romeo and Juliet and
Pride and Prejudice. I, personally, think her tiny little brain would have imploded with the effort of reading and comprehending actual literature when she is written as such a complete and one-dimensional moron. To be perfectly frank you could substitute a hamburger or a pair of pants for her character and the plot wouldn’t be affected, which then begs the question of how she could have managed to read, remember, and regurgitate a quote from any of these tomes, let alone actually discuss it within her text. Following on the heels of this observation the stereotypical
Twilight reader will also probably be unable to follow the prose of Brontë, Shakespeare, or Austin as they will be far to swept up in the idea that Bella and Edward have read this and thus miss the entire point of the story. There is also the fact that each of those authors are all very brilliant, but can be complicated and dry to read for someone more suited to teen romance. This is disparity is especially apparent when any of these works are compared to Mrs. Meyer’s inability to parse together a coherent sentence, let alone plot line. This discrepancy will unfortunately leave many prospective readers lost in the polysyllabic words, multi-faceted plot lines, and antiquated phrasings of
Wuthering Heights,
Romeo and Juliet, and
Pride and Prejudice.
Accepting that these readers might now begin to peruse older works of fiction; I am entirely annoyed by the fact that the advertisers have now brought classic literature down to the level of teeny-bopper trash. This is the literature equivalent to marketing Final Fantasy VII as Frogger’s favorite game. While Frogger may be many peoples’ favorite game ever, Final Fantasy VII, undoubtedly, offers a much richer story line as well as overall aesthetic design. It also stands that Final Fantasy is a classic staple of the art form that creators still try to imitate or surpass. This is exactly the case with these works by Shakespeare, Austin, and Brontë. It is an insult to many admirers of literature to compare or equate
Twilight (or any other equally horrific novel) in any way to respected writing. Sure
Twilight is interesting to many other people (obviously), but overall, it isn’t at all in the same league with these classics.
However, to be optimistic, I am pleased that more people might actually read some kind of classical literature, even if it takes two incredibly insipid fictional characters for this to happen. It may be worth the temporary devaluation of a classic if even one of them realizes what literature can actually be like and denounces the farce that is the Twilight series.
Following this vein while there are many, many things that I dislike about this new facet of
Twilight’s attempt at world domination, I can’t help but admire whoever came up with this brilliant marketing ploy. It is so incredibly brilliant to use the characters from one fictional book to promote the other. I am also stunned that (as far as I know, and correct me if I’m wrong) no other promotional campaign has used this tactic before. It seems fairly obvious that if a character you liked and respected in a book you enjoyed held a particular novel in esteem you might go out and track this book down yourself. However, I’m pretty certain that the character would have to mention the book more than once for most people to even take note of this supposed favoritism. Therefore this marketing ploy is even more incredible in using such an obscure factoid to sell otherwise rarely picked up novels while spreading the ever more prevalent and seemingly innocuous name of
Twilight. I also can’t help but be amused that the publishers are relying on the mob mentality of reading a novel/play just because a barely believable character recommended it when in all likelihood the average
Twilight reader rejected them all in their required English courses.
This goodwill, however, does not mean that I don’t kind of want to maim whoever decided it was a good idea to further the inane proposal that Bella and Edward actually exist through this marketing. The de-fictionalization of these two characters has gone further than any other I have seen. Because of this belief in Bella and Edwards reality there are such products as
Twilight inspired dildo and golden contact lenses that further the deranged idea that through body modification or masturbation with a frozen dildo that one can be closer to these characters. Through this labeling there are now implied insinuations that Bella and Edward have cogency and can thus name their favorite novel. After the revelation that a
Twilight inspired sparkly dildo exists, I can only imagine the reactions that will come from idiot fangirls, who are already ecstatic to have the opportunity to feel like they are actually having sex with a sparkling, non-threatening, insult to vampire sub-culture, 900 year old pedophile, when they realize that their favorite fictional character is endorsing literature as well.
My belief that potential readers are only interested in being closer to Bella and Edward was further confirmed when I ran across an online journal that detailed one woman’s struggle to finish
Wuthering Heights. “I will admit to not liking the story [of
Wuthering Heights] one bit as I was reading through it. In fact, it wasn't until almost the end that I even began to enjoy it. Looking for quotes from Eclipse kept me going, as well as a deep desire to know the story for the sake of understanding Bella and Edward better.” She is also “… very much looking forward to re-reading Eclipse at the end of the month, with this new perspective of having read Wuthering Heights and knowing all of the references Bella and Edward make about it!” In all of my biases against Twilight this is the one thing I absolutely can’t stand. I cannot agree with people only reading and finishing classic works to be closer to these two bland characters. This reading of literature takes away all of the legitimacy and self standing of
Wuthering Heights,
Romeo and Juliet, or
Pride and Prejudice as novels in their own right. While I do understand and acknowledge that there are probably intelligent people reading and enjoying
Twilight this woman’s reasoning for reading
Wuthering Heights irks me because she is getting nothing from the story except “information” about Bella and Edward. I also feel this is fairly representative of how many
Twilight fans will read the novel, which saddens me greatly.
Ultimately what riles me the most about this cover redesign is that these classics will forever be linked to
Twilight in the minds of these readers and that breaks my soul. I think I possibly could have handled the
Twilight craze without comment if it could have been satisfied with only ruining vampires and then fading out of existence, but they had to go and bring decent writing down in other genres as well.